For as long as I can remember I have been welcomed in to communities which were generally considered
"sausage fests". If not for the constant noting of this fact I would have never noticed. You guys were always just
my friends.

As I've gotten older these subcultures have become more vocal about wanting to include more women, the
discussion has become "how can we make the community more welcoming to women".

As a woman who has been here all along this is distressing to me, I love you guys for who you are, from my
table-top strategy gaming group though my political debate forum right in to the skeptical community. You have
never been anything but awesome and welcoming. Who made you think you weren't?

I am here, in my various communities because I like you guys, and I like the basis of the movement. The idea that
you have to set time aside to cater to me, because my vagina imbues me with some special needs is becoming
increasingly insulting. These communities are about our minds, not our genitals and as far as I can tell my mind is
just like yours.

More recently I have noticed a trend among men in my communities, you seem to have been told that you're
awful and need to change. Again, apparently because your genitals imbues you with an inescapable assholism.
Please never believe this lie.
With all my heart I beg you to not make monsters of your gender. I like your jokes. I like your humor. I like the
casualness and ease that no gender distinction has allowed us all over the years.
You have never hurt or insulted me, you have brought me years of joy, wonderful debate, and stimulating
conversation. By forgetting to see me as a woman, you have treated me as an equal, as a comrade, as a friend.

If your jokes or teasing manner offend some people, so the fuck what? Someone will always be offended by
jokes, never let them make you believe that you are guilty of something worse simply because of your gender. If
you want to make boob jokes thats fine by me, you have after all been making dick jokes since you were old
enough to make jokes. Plus they are funny as hell. If you want to go free and uncensored among a group of like
minded people, if you want to try to acquire sex from a like minded person, awesome, do it, sex and friendship
are amazing. You are not a monster for wanting these things.  You are not a monster for attempting to acquire
them.

I type this with all of the warmth and sorrow of someone entangled in the most beautiful of bromances.
I love you guys. And I'd like to slap the silly assholes who have given you the idea that you have mistreated me.

With all of my heart I beg you: Do not change. Do not change for me, do not change for someone else. You're
wonderful, just the way you are.
If the day comes when you censor your language around me, when dick/fart/vagina jokes are not allowed
because of my delicate gender, my heart will break as I wave goodbye in a search for a more open, natural,
candid community that does not insist on seeing me first for my gender.
And if you want to tease me because I am shedding a little girlish tear though an odd smile as I type this, thats ok
too. But don't ever stop being you.

I did not enter this relationship with the intention of changing you all. I am enough of a grownup to know that is a
terrible idea. I entered because I love science, truth, questioning, and curiosity. I love candor, and occasionally
rough humor, I love the ingroup demeanor we have with eachother. And I have stayed because you never
insisted on seeing me as a girl.

I came because I love what we are about, and I love you guys too. Don't ever adulterate yourselves in an attempt
to try to lure more vagina possessing patrons. I can think of nothing more tragic and disingenuous.  

Keep joking with me, keeping being open and awesome and curious and funny, keep trying to fuck me, because I
cant think of any reason why I would rather fuck someone else, we are after all human. I assure you I'll return the
favor.

In conclusion:
Don't ever let someone make you feel bad for being you, for being male, for being funny, don't ever believe the
lie that us delicate girls cant take being hit on, cant keep up with the filthy jokes, cant argue you blue in the face,
and need special treatment.
I love you guys.
Don't change.


- Mallorie Nasrallah
Jan 02 2012
Las Vegas, NV
A message to the skeptical community from a fellow atheist, who just so happens to
be female.
Further Reading