My first letter deals with the case that it is desirable that we should systematically change the community and
our events to lure in more women (why specifically women and not people I don't know).
I have had a few people tell me that they have not heard any discussion of this sort of change.
As exhibit A I point to this sort of thing www.womeninsecularism.org
Women are grossly over represented at this event, for as far as I can tell no reason other than their gender.
And celebrated aside from the general "yay smart skeptics" thing, as far as I can tell for no reason other than
their gender.
Additionally I cant help but point out...its pretty pink.
My letter was never "you don't need to be treat women like human beings" it was "you do not need to pretty up
science/atheism for me".
There will be (already are) people who say no one is asking for this. But short of polling every community and
every board of directors for every conference and conveniently forgetting the oh-so-pink Women In
Secularism conference, you are in no logical position to make that claim.
There is a conversation running parallel to the neo-feminist blogging. One full of suggestions as to how to
appeal more to women. This conversation has nothing to do with treating women like people too, it has to do
with making "girls night out" for local atheist groups. Putting women in prominent positions they might be
under-qualified for, but that will make them highly visible. Swearing less so as not to offend newly deconverted
ladies, and their kids. etc. The suggestions are many and run the gamut from mildly insulting to down right
moronic.
I have been privy to these conversations. I have received emails from others who have as well. Not everyone
is asking for, or just suggesting equal treatment which I am all for.
Its this that I find insulting, and this that prompted me to beg everyone in the community not to change, and
not to change our community.
I made the mistake of making a second point, one I care much less about.
In addition to the woefully pandering suggestions as to how to lure in women I have taken issue with a small
handful of women speaking on behalf of "women to men". Maybe they didn't intend to generalize, but they did.
So I (never making such generalizations) stated my preferences. Which happen to contrast those of a few
prominent women rather pointedly.
For all that some would like to say that I ignored other women, they seem rather eager to ignore the fact that
my letter in regard to treatment is simply a statement of personal preference. I do not attempt to speak for all
(or even most) women, so of course I did not attempt to state their preferences. My letter makes liberal use of
personal pronouns, and relays only personal experience. Unlike several vocal feminists, I make no
generalizations or assumptions about the preferences of others, thus am in no position to state anything more
than my own preferences.
I do not believe most men in the skeptical community need a lesson on how to treat women, and I tend to
disagree that the movement is full of socially awkward guys. With that in mind I did not feel the need to give a
lesson in how to approach women. I used my voice to offer a different preference. Take it or leave it. My only
goal was to make sure that people knew the alleged "rules on how to talk to girls" were not universal and
settled on. Ladies, they might be your rules, but they are not mine.
So as to add a positive spin I will conclude with saying, what we need is more people. More people who love
science, and philosophy that honors human dignity, more people who are curious, and willing to accept new
ideas, more people who hold a skeptical world view. If that includes more women, more racial minorities, etc,
then awesome. But speaking for myself, please don't single me out, based on something arbitrary like my race
or my gender and attempt to change our community to cater to me, and to be honest I would prefer we get on
with the interesting stuff that brought us here in the first place.
-Mallorie Nasrallah
01/21/2012
I encourage anyone who has questions to contact me directly, I have a public facebook, and a website, if you
should feel the need to call me, my phone number is easily located there. Asking questions is usually the best
place to start.
Clarification of:
A message to the skeptical community from a fellow atheist, who just so
happens to be female.